over-acheivers,go-getters and heartaches

foto by Lammy Dammy
Here we are friends, the end of one of the greatest years 2010. I have been overly productive, I spent 30 days total in New Orleans this year, five weeks in California and the rest in the NW.
I vow to spend more time in Portland this year and to visit some new p[laces, maybe Tennessee/Austin/Rome and Berlin those are my visionary vacations that I'd like to bring the dollies to, and show em off they do love to travel...
I produced about twenty five shows this year and will plan on doing half as many in 2011, my soul can't be spread so thin.
EVERYDAY i DREAM OF WAKING UP IN NEW ORLEANS, WALKING IN THE QUARTER HAVING LATE-NITES HOPPING FROM ONE DECREPIT DRINKING HOLE TO ANOTHER.
For now I am happily nestled in the NW. I have fallen in love again with SF, the warm sun on my body felt divine last week, driving over the bay bridge in the morning with Jayne County blaring from the Speakers...priceless..
My soul is torn...I may have three lovers now!!!just what i needed!!!!NOLA,SEATTLEI know i need to bring in a higher income this year to survive and to get me to where i need to be!
i will start my grant writing skills so i can create installations and performances and not rely on buyers and voyeurs so much,I have deleted my website, and have decided to be a lil less in the public eye, i feel that there are vultures out there trying to poke and peck at my eyes and heart, giving to much takes away from my creativity, as I learned the hard way in 2008, yet i am filled with the love and inspiration from others, finding the balance is the true trick.

my eyes shall bleed here is my other forcast on love and more heartache

special relationship which celebrates one's growth as a woman. Creativity which manifests as physical product, whether that be children, artistic endeavors, or wealth.



Great energy that flows unbounded. Beginning of a focused, creative period. Inspiration that inspires action. New opportunities. The active, or yang, aspect of life. Growth.



Movement into the next phase of life. If you are feeling impatient, don't worry--transitions will go smoothly, as if you are being pulled by the twin forces of fate and fortune. Career advancement.



An interest in spiritual knowledge. A teacher who will share with you what you are seeking, or perhaps you are that teacher. Wisdom gained in a graceful manner.



A renewed awareness of the nature of passionate love, and what is needed to encourage it. Artistic creativity. Sexuality. The integration within oneself of the masculine and feminine.



Worries that keep one awake. An issue that needs to be looked at more closely; only then will it be transformed. Fear or nagging anxiety.



Success, good fortune,creativity. All is well with the world; your highest hopes are supported by the universe. Any feelings of insecurity and unworthiness are to be banished from your thoughts. Follow your dreams without fear or censure.



Great satisfaction. Contentment. Some consider this card the wish card -- meaning a wish will be granted if this card appears in a spread. Earthly delights

A recent Tarot reading for ye ol' heart

This is a period for communication, a period for social life, for meeting new people. Pursue new activities. You'll find in them the solution to many problems; you'll be positively surprised. 



You need to think about you. You have to take a break; you are dominated by the speed at which events are happening without realizing that you've forgotten about you and your feelings. You have the support of your friends. Enjoy loneliness! It will help you discover what you really want but can't have yet. You'll find love sooner than expected.



Look at all the things that surround you. A new kind of energy has sprung in you, filling you with love; it is time now to learn how to use all this. Enjoy even the smaller things of life. Your bright ideas will favor the people around you. Favorable period to start a stable relationship.

You are seeing the results of your efforts and this stimulates you; you’re getting closer to the goals that you’ve set. Think carefully before taking any decision, this is a period of drastic changes in your life. You'll have enough confidence to move forward with courage and not to give up. Period of spiritual growth. A dream will be reborn. New lovers and relationships.



TEMPERANCE AND DREAMS: You have to set goals, objectives, dreams; those are the things that give meaning to our lives. Be confident; you'll achieve everything that you want because you have the energy and strength to do it.



This is a favorable period for friendship. Let new people enter in your life. Discover new and interesting friends in your workplace or college. You'll feel protected by people who love you and respect you. Suggest new and exciting activities to share with your friends; you'll live unforgettable moments.


JUSTICE AND SEX: During this period it is very likely that your personal conflicts will affect sex with your partner. You'll feel confused, and even in some occasions, you'll have to pretend to be alright. Try to talk about this with some intimate friend because the negative consequences of this period may affect the future stability of your relationship. If you don't have a partner, be sensible when selecting one.

Magick will makethe dreams a reality for me and for you

Sooooo, here I am the end of another year and damn the new year is 2011, how in the world is it 2011?
I just finished 4 shows in California, for some reason no matter how great everything is I become depressed at the end of these events,
I will hold a NYE gathering at my home and once again we will all dance under the moon indulge in mango curry with our champagne, burning our wishes into the midnight wind.
I feel un-satisfied with my position right now and hope that this will help,
I feel like giving up on all my projects and art and becoming a seaside recluse,
yet that would most likely only make me feel worse it is a fantasy of mine...


the power of the eclipse on Dec 20th was astounding and filled me with such ideas that i closed my eyes tight to make wishes!
this year I'd like to take my self and art and friends to places we all haven't been yet!
my heart yearns to experience soil that i have yet to step foot upon....
will this cure my emptiness?
will it inspire my aura?
will i ever be a complete being?
i have strong wishes, fantasies,dreams,desires,wants,needs,that I hope to fulfill...

Miss O's Holiday massacre tour is finished...

First of all I want to thank everyone that made it to the shows!it means alot to me ! I want to thank all the persons that helped and co-produced,housed,hosted,cooked and supported these shows!
JAck Shit, Dog Swan, Kent Kates,Richie Flame!



Each show was very special and i like to think very different from the others, from cabaret trash,gutter glamor,glittery bunny bottoms to raw ear candy!

The new project i am involved with debut in Sf and OAkland, we had a great response..People drove far to perform and I had my first art show "in" OAkland, which it happened to be the first night of heavy rain so attendance was low but we had a blast none the less!

GO magazine launched at Salon Du Troll a super groovy mag by Ruby RAy and Dog Swan.



The new year is about to begin and i am re-directing energy and will conduct some magic to help guide me into 2011.

San Francisco here I come!!!!Thursday Dec 16th

I AM teaming up with Dog Swan again to put on a night of complete surreal sensations!
I will be performing for the first time at Salon Du Troll Plus I will have some of my newest videos premiering along with all these other talented folks@!do not miss it!
SPace is very very limited get there early! fer reals!

Seattle handmade shopping! stay away from the malls!!!

Hello Friends!
I am busy busy sewing one-of-a-kind pieces for stocking suffers and gifts....I will be at these locations in the next 2 weeks selling them and having cocktails..Please come down and do your shopping at handmade+vintage events!!! STAY AWAY FROM THE MALLS!!!

also if you cannot make it out I have my ETSY store open....
http://www.etsy.com/shop/paynecreations


Skinny Dip (dance /performance show)
Wednesday Dec 1st at HighDive in Fremont 8p.m.-10p.m.

Punk Rock Fleamarket
Saturday Dec 4th at
The Underground
2407 1st Ave., on 1st between Battery and Wall Streets

Mourning MArket + Hooverville (yes both)
Sunday DEc 12th
Club Motor noon-4p.m.

"Tonight I kill"

Yes thats right folks I just finished filming the video for "Tonight I kill" and it went um...KILLER...boys in loin clothes,witch DR's....salty bearded boys...I have had this on my "TO DO" list since the summer! I will be editing over the weekend!
Be on the lookout for a faboo and dark static....xooxo starring EmpeROAR Fabulous, Dustin,Peter,Jonni r Synic and of course JAckie Hell!
I wanted to thank Chris for letting us use FRED for filming!

"HARSH QUEEN ZINE" girls just wanna dress Trashy by Miss Oblivious 2007

I made this zine in a workshop i lead at the Hugo House in 2007. 5 of us made zines in 3 hours!
it was so much fun!

letters to Texas...

my ol pal from the Cactus Club Samantha and I just reconnected....she still has letters i wrote her after she moved here is one of them super funny!!!1995

BLONDE TO RED...all i want is late nites and sleep ins

It was that time again!!goodbye blonde and hello rustic redhead!

My life is spiraling so far to greener side of the yard that it seems unbelievable, i have love yet love terrifies me, i have desire it overtakes my dreams, i have passion ,passion on fire....i am also empty and also i am scarred to death of life! i sometimes feel unsure of reality and choices...choices really frighten me, it takes me forever to just order a deli sandwich...
BUT!!!!
this fortune has stuck with me over the years....I received in a surreal manner...
still my fave fortune~~~~


You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.
The minute you meet anyone, you can make them crave you almost immediately.
You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.
A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract ***

There is almost a new year! well the new year for us pagan'tries has begun and I am ready for it!!! every year i take myself in a new uncomfortable direction..because when we are comfortable we die! so i will keep my toes chilly and my brain zig zagging with projects as to hide my true insanity......

Holiday MAssacre SF w/Miss Oblivious * Dog Swan presents

Dog Swan and MIss O have some magic up our sleeves and none of you will ever be the same! Also i will be performing for the first time at Salon du Troll with Orson Wagon! I just finished the 11 minute film that will screen behind us on a 30 ft tall screen while Orson sings chapters from his book!
(after i read it i felt inspired to make this 11 minute film about the the main character and his isolation, not just socially but inside of his own body)... I will play the musical saw and Orson will be playing his brand new green electric upright bass... the film is starring Ethyl Teflon....
Also the night is chock full of SF legends from the 1970'5 to present day dark wave queer sensations....a night not to be missed!! so mark those calanders and get those fancy shoes n hats on....xooxo

2nd annual CAb Fest Miss O presented"Decrepit cabaret"

so we have wrapped up another year of Cab fest..which i think added a few years to my soul..stress,beauty,talented gypsy's, and great times!
I booked , curated and directed the Decrepit Cabaret, which included, tarot,art alley,dancers,performers and the premiere of :"El RAdio FQAntastique"
29 acts
I learned alot and and i think most everyone involved including audience members had a superb experience there were a few kinks.....Here are some highlights from each night a pictorial review....

static

So as I wrote below I am performing in SF this Dec 16th +Oakland Dec18th with Orson Wagon, I will play the musical saw while he sings chapters from his book "Hole In The Rubber" a literary punk rock masterpiece.
I decided since I was on year long hiatus from film that it was time to begin filming again, so this was the perfect reason! We will have film streaming behind our performance.
So LAst night I went to Ethyl Teflon's so she could portray a young stud stuck in the wrong body......

you can order a copy of "Hole in the Rubber " by following this link...http://www.lastgasp.com/d/34885/

ORVIOUS

when i got home i googled the meaning and this is the first two links i received and knew i was onto something...


a vaginal pessary can irritate vaginal tissues, possibly to the point of
causing sores or- vious: Definition Next: Causes trauma ...
&

Trans Passions: orvious

Teflon Zine.... with Kook n' Grace

I am announcing the new zine I am creating with my Teflon Sisters...be on the lookout for outrageous adventures,beauty tips,recipes and juicy gossip....
Kook Teflon
Grace Teflon
Ethyl Teflon
Lux Teflon

Female Front #3 w/Sev + the Sins,MAjenta + her crotch,Jackie Hell,Kaliningrad at the Comet Seattle

I am going to be completely honest,
I had a freak-out the night before this show! I had put on my first 2 female fronted events in June and the turnout was a bit disappointing! I also had to guarantee an 80 person turnout, which just makes me feel so under pressure! I had just spent three or four hours personally screen-printing posters for the tour...

The week of this show, I heard there were 4 other huge shows happening within our circle on the same night! So i panicked~ and started wondering why do i put myself through this and I do it over + over + over , well continuously since about 1996....
Regardless when it comes down to the nitty gritty of why i produce and book these shows, it is genuinely to bring all my different circles of friends together, to enjoy each others projects!
So I applied my ruby woo lips, rat-nested my mop and slipped into some vintage granny pumps!
(Stella Rose* Kyle guitarists for Sev n'sins)

I drove up the steep hill of Denny grade getting into my mode of ringleader....As I parked, Sev and the Sins were pushing their equipment into the Comet Tavern, Majenta looked hot in her new Vagina Dress and I had my good 'ol confidence back and remembered why I do this.."I LOVE THIS"...The Comet is great , they don't try to slide on comp drinks , they are excited to have you there, none of the grumpy patronize some places give you, the comet treat's you like they are thrilled to have you, not that you owe them something for them letting you play in their est...
Jackie Hell was my choice MC for such a night!
Majenta and her Crotch opened our thighs so we could sway to her lounge covers from such greats as T.S.O.L....That woman fucking blows me up, she has so much fucking charisma and presence,since my first witnessing of her in 1999. SF at Stinky's Peep show with her band the Razorbabes which opened for U.S Bombs..I was smitten following her around that night I couldn't take my eyes off of her, I bought everything she WAS selling.......
KALININGRAD just took my heart there , I can blame them for my nostalgic emotional clarity..My close friend and Tarot Queen fronts them and her voice,lyrics and spirit capture something inside of me that triggers this plasma of inspiration!
The crowd started arriving and were feeling it to...Jackie Hell introduced Bella Mis- Behavin that did a 1995 rendition of a pop icon! what a cutie pie in her garbage couture...



proceeded by Jackie Hells macabre number about not being a witch,segueing into "Tonight I Kill"..as she masturbated with a switchblade the crowd went NUTS!!!!!!by this time I was on my third or fourth COCKtail...
my spirits had exchanged emotion from the 24 hour melt-down, I was feeling empowered by this group of iconic peers I had gathered under one-roof....The Comet was filled to capacity...I was selling dollies,buttons n doo-dads....The time was near for the explosion and corruption of Sev and the Sins.....


One of the punkest Seattle bands at the moment! Sev their leader stands about 5'1 and when the music starts turns into A 7 FOOT TALL POWER HOUSE...she pounds the keys on her fancy synth, keeping one fist fully filled with angst in the air...


the boys are the ideal energized, tough, talented guitarists n bass...black eyes,bloody n bruised (my kinda fellas)...on drums is also a tiny lil lady that is just as powerful as the front....





the crowd went nuts and as I explained in a previous post about Alabaster Choad I had the same feeling about this night! This is what I envisioned, the crowd going nuts without any pasties involved! Just RAW Powered grace.....without a second thought, woman acting on whims and overtaking their surroundings! this was FEMALE FRONT!!!


JAckie n I guzzled and guzzled our beers...we decided a slumber party was a must! All night drinking session at the boudoir of Mz.Hell.....and our co-hert Dustin!!!We insisted he wear this wig!and drink lotz of PBR's.....


THANK YOU MAMA CASSEROLE,COMET TAVERN AND ALL OUR FRIENDS THAT MADE THIS NIGHT PHENOMINAL!!! XOXO MISS OBLIVIOUS

Oblivious Images summer 2010

Agness Twin




Vincent d. Dominion ( Death By Doll)

Vacant Churches,Moira Scar,Agness Twin Female Front SJ

(photo of Angie n Miss O by: Ian Healy)the rest on this blog are captured by Miss Oblivious

This was my homecoming. I lived in downtown San Jose from 1991-2006. I have gone back n fourth with a love hate for my home. As any old timer claims "it ain't like it used to be" but with a city with over a million in population you'd think that there'd be alot more dives & decrepit hangouts..but really you only have about 5 options which is the beauty and the beast for my home!
Some of my dearest and most cherished times happened on these streets!My children were born downtown, i was a young n ballistic character that roamed the bars under age,i hung out with DeeDee Ramone twice(+ he told me i was the prettiest girl in town),I romanced with speed for weeks at a time in those small humid practice spaces called the Rock Garden, saw Diesel Queens change the entire scent of a room...anyhoots...I insisted i have one of my Female Fronts at Johnny V's an old haunt of mine.
The only issue with it was that everyone failed to mention that it turned into a dump, I don't wanna rag to much on the place cause an ol schoolmate of mine owns it, but he has obviously been outta town or somethin, cause I do not recall his venues ever being so run down.
I booked three of my fave bands!! Agness Twin, Moira Scar and Vacant Churches.
I hired dj's yet to find out an hour before showtime that all the dj equipment was broken, the toilets had poop on 'em,i was still optimistic! Yet one occurrence after another finally made me realize it was FRIDAY THE 13th...so i knew our luck would have to change! Becki showed up early with me to set up merch,sound-check and what not... It was soooo good to see Aaron n Mel, and all my other DT family..I felt loved and supported! Even Corey O' Brien showed up!~
Before the music started Vacant Churches went upstairs for an Oblivious Image shoot...
Soon after AGness Twin started and began our magical journey......
more and more ol pals piled in to this wooden structure, the bar ran out of beer and had to send a patron to the corner store for more....while Moira Scar set up i swigged a few Ales and felt the night really begin....I danced and danced...i snapped pics, recorded and hugged so many fancy faces!
Oh Moira you really enhance my inebriated journey's....
the drink tickets for performers were Chucky. e. cheese game tickets, in which there were only about 6 to go around for the dozen band-members, we just rotated em to the tender behind the mahogany counter...

This was my first Vacant Churches show since my big move, my anticipation was immense..they are truly one of the best bands i have ever known..there is anger,truth and beauty in Melody's lyrics..not a lot of woman have guts like Melody and it is something i admire tremendously in her!
she isn't scarred of facing anything..a true warrior!
She is also married to one of my close pals Aaron in which they created Vacant Churches together!



The temperature & atmosphere of the room changed into a whirlwind of chaotic bliss when Vacant Churches struck their first chord, hit the drum and pounded the sounds of the organ....the room was upside down,inside out and could have parted the red sea.......
a full bottle of Miller Highlife struck my temple and at the instant i knew I was home, i was were i belonged and just kept dancing....nothing could tear me away from this epic reunion....thank you San JOse, thank you Johnny V's....