Apperations with Miss O from a past issue...Beleive it!
A life so natural it's super....:For the past few issues I haven't wanted new topics to cover and different bands to see, I have made an effort to start a new chapter and here we go. Hope you still enjoy this mess.
I photographed a beautiful woman this month and it's been hard to decide which photo to use for the cover and I took a vote, asked half a dozen volunteers which image captured is most eye catching and without any knowledge of what the others said they all picked the same one.
I am a Halloween fanatic, my room with a bed is themed in all hallows eve and my art is focused and inspired from the after-life and creatures from another realm, a past century and deep-sea apperitions.
My intrigue with the supernatural started at very young age due to my own mother's fascination and stories. My grandmother's liberated religious & spiritual stories of woman being possessed and of the demons that overcame a human shell.
My first comment that my mother speaks of is when I told her "I had been sent down here from the sky". I remembered being sent. I was only 3 years old.
For me it started in 1978 we lived in an old home in an old neighborhood. My mother had just migrated us from southern California and was starting afresh in a small town 40 minutes south off SF.
. She claimed to see a man in her doorway at night, screaming wails of a man and woman when the bathtub was turned on, (which was claimed through her and my step-father without prior knowledge or exchange, since they had just started dating and didn't want the other to think he/she was a weirdo.)
My wild mother even started attending church and claimed it was the evil spirits upset at her new beliefs. We were never a regular eat at the table kind of family, yet we would awake in the morning with the table completely set. We had a guest room; well more of junk rooms were all odds n ends were thrown. This room was always freezing, even in the hot summer months and was always a complete disaster. Weird belongings would be found in here, toothbrushes, dish soap, dirty clothes, which had never been placed by any of us.
My mother even went for help at her new church, the pastor recommended holy cloths blessed by the blood of the lamb. I slept in an old bed that my grandmother gave us, made of a heavy metal frame and posts. My mother tied these holy cloths to my bed since she was told most spirits like to visit children since they don't know any better than not to believe.
Waiting til I was asleep she tied 'em in many knots, so that the only way they could be removed would either be time consuming or by scissors. To her skin tingling surprise in the morning they were all lying around my bed on the floor! Franticly waking me asking if I had done this? I looked at her very puzzled.
Things seemed to calm down yet my mother loved telling all her stories. She worked graveyard (no pun intended) at a restaurant. One night, about 4 a.m. all the staff sat down for a break, after the bar crowd had left. The dishwasher's father was there and he insisted on my mother telling him about her experiences. As I stated above my mom is eager to tell her story to any willing ear. As soon as she was finished, an older couple that were sitting in the room, turned to tell my mom and her co-workers that 5 minutes before they had all sat down to tell ghost stories that the silverware on the table behind them had moved, the man went on to say that " he saw it move and my wife heard it" and as soon as he was finished with that sentence, the syrup on the table between the couple, my mom and her co-workers flew off the middle of the table and landed on the floor. 6 Witnesses to this and all they did were pick it up and rush back to work completely numb. Of course just another added true story my mother could tell any eager listener!
By the time I was in jr.high my mother was single again and remained so 'til my senior year.
We both Dove into the, metaphysical, supernatural and dream world, we took classes to further our knowledge and learn why all this happens and how to work with our intuitions. I learned tarot, I did readings and hung onto all the experiences at night in dreamland. The meanings of this and that.
We then discovered past life regressions and was told that I had been a gypsy in another life, one that danced around the fire, wore much jewelry and could never love just one man which drove my lovers insane, also explaining my free sprirted/punkrock living life (I was 14 at the time).
I had also been a mountain man explorer on my own and had been mauled by a bear-like creature explaining my love yet high fear of the forest and woods.
My best friend Karin and I made a ouija board, my entire –life I had been lectured about, "do not ever touch one leave the room if your friends even talk about ouija" ("the forbidden tool") Naturally when your parents say don't do, you think what is the big deal? We contacted a boy that had died during the black plague and was terrified of our pet rat.
Karin was so intrigued that she was doing it alone in her room at night. I taught her how to leave her body and check things out in other locations, how to ground herself when feeling disconnected. We are still close and she now resides in New Orleans.
My mother and I were soon discovering our spirit guides and why we are on the paths we choose before being birthed.
It was a light turned on for us both my thirty something old mother and me as a new teen confused, frustrated and rebellious. These times occurred in 1985-1990.
I laways practiced my learnings within but hardly ever showed my knowledge to others.
In 1995 I moved in with two roomies in an intriguing Victorian located in downtown San Jose. I have always shared my experiences with close friends and such yet for the most part this side of me had been keeping a very low profile.
Elisa, Vince and I lived together for well over a year and started going our own ways, which led to a lot of nights with Elisa at home alone. She says she would be laying in bed and suddenly the hall light would turn on and she'd jump up thinking that one of us had decided to come home, yet to her surprise none had came home. She would lie in bed at night and there would be swooshing sensation above her, (things gliding above her and hearing the motions).
Any intuitive friend that would come for a visit would bring up the feeling in our home without us ever telling 'em of our experiences. They would point to the hallway, which connected all the bedrooms into a laundry room.
When I started dating most were not interested or were so frightened of apparitions that it was barely spoken of. In my 8 years residing at this home I never ever spent one night alone except for once and of course in all honesty it was a stormy night fully equipped with rain, thunder and lightening. Terrified, creeped out tuitive I soon took sleeping pills to get any sleep.
I had my first child at this house and before we moved (she was 5), her room was Elisa's old room. One night when I was putting her to sleep she asked" mommy why are people throwing Frisbee's in her room at night"?
My skin crawled and my back was chilled. I kept calm and said" honey what do you mean"? She said well at night when I am lying in my room I hear swooshing above me and it sounds like Frisbee's when you throw them"! Oh Geeeezzzz.. This was the exact way Elisa explained this room when it was hers.I had never told Darby of this ever!
Simon would never lemme tell him any of these stories or experiences and he knew I knew the truth and asked for me NOT to tell him anything!
One night after band practice we were in our part of the house relaxing and Ally (our bass player and believer), had ran upstairs to our housemates. There was a sort of spiral wooden staircase that led into our homes so we could enter each other's places whenever we felt. We heard Ally run down the stairs and into our living room, we were on the sofa and she stood above us white as sheet and I asked, "What happened"? Looking if she had seen her puppy hit by a semi.. With her eyes wild exclaiming "you are never gonna believe this", I said " Try me"!
Her story is she was coming downstairs and halfway down there was a victorian dressed lady looking up at her. Ally stood there, the lady stood there, they stared at each other and then Ally ran right through her in utter fear to our place.
I then told her she is not the first to experience this and that this house has many stories.
We decided to move when I was pregnant with Sailor Hank! I wanted Darby at a better school and we needed to leave the vadio (ghetto).
The boys all stayed and still reside in the above apartment and many of my friends have lived in my old space. The weeks post-move the space was left empty for renovating.
Richy(whom lived upstairs), said he was watching TV and heard all of the doors slamming downstairs, he soon jumped up thinking we may have returned to fetch any forgotten belongings. Zoomed down the stairs in seconds to find the entire apt, empty, dark and locked. He was terrified! He called us and we were 20 miles away in Cupertino, then telling us that when we still lived there, we had gone outta town for a few days and at night he'd hear old-fashion music on. It was very loud, so he thought" oh they came back early! So he ran down and when he walked inside it was pitched black and we had not returned and then the music would be gone, til the next night when it happened again and you guessed it: we were still gone!
Rich slept on his sofa for weeks, saying he could not even sleep in his room for fear of hearing something! Any friend that has lived in MY space since says it still smells like me and that weird stuff occurs. We laughed and said they must've been upset when I left that's why the doors were slamming and music was playing!
Since this time I have lived in three different homes. I no longer have had that "I don't wanna be here alone feeling", a creepy chill behind me when the lights are off, or any friends visiting asking if "I get a weird feeling"?
Up until NOW!
I recently moved out of state to Seattle, Wa (Ballard an old Scandinavian fishing area), our new home is three levels and about 70 years old.
I didn't think much at first of my three-year-old when he followed me absolutely everywhere at home.After about 2 monthes and me getting that cold feeling I asked him, "why don't you wanna be alone in a room here"? He replied" The Lady" and I said "The Lady"?, he said "yeah and she asks me to pull the rope for her", with my skin tingling even as I write, I said what?
He went on and on about it. I dropped it and tried not to think of it and especially not mentioning it to my husband since he is a non-believer, well maybe not a disbeliever but these situations scare the hell out of him! He doesn't even watch scary movies; he is non- religious and rose in Malaysia.
A few weeks passed and my son and I were cuddling in the morning and talking as we always do. He then pointed next to the bed and asked "Mommy what's that ladies name next to the bed"? damnit! Not again I thought to myself. He got very angry and asked over and over "who is that lady, what is her name". I told him I didn't see her and he said she is right next to the bed!!! I took a deep breath and changed the subject by turning on Seasame Street.
My mother came for a visit that week and asked me about it again and again and said she felt something. I now understand why he won't even let me go to the bathroom without him. I soon bought some sage to burn and my husband of course asked "why", I said you don't wanna know"!
So unless he reads this he is still in the dark so to say!
My cover model this month Jenine came over last week and we are still getting to know eachother, what I am getting at is she has no idea of the above stories or experiences. She stopped in the middle of a sentence as we sat on my bed and asked "Do you ever get a weird feeling in here"? OOOOOOOOOO……
YES! I then told her Sailor Hank's story and she said yes in that corner I feel it!
So the saga continues…
Formerly "Cunt Fear"
Not for the faint at heart, close-minded or non-beleivers….
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san martin, ca 95046